Do You Deserve Self-Care?
- Amani Na Badha
- Sep 15, 2018
- 3 min read
In our attempts to engage in nurturing Self-Care, the biggest brick wall many face is GUILT. Many parents, practitioners, caregivers and others WANT to engage in nurturing self-care. They want to get enough sleep. They want to have a massage once a month (or once a week!). They want to relax once in a while-or, better yet, on a regular basis. Yet what holds them back? GUILT. Whenever they do something nice for themselves, which sometimes requires them being away from their loved ones or work, they feel guilty, selfish, or just plain bad. Since when does being healthy, energized, and kind to ourselves make us bad people? I often wonder...where did this belief come from? Are we really bad people at the core? My opinion is NO WAY!
Or...are we good, caring, loving people who sometimes make mistakes? Good people in a process of learning and growing, which sometimes seems beautiful, and sometimes looks and feels pretty rocky? What if we are good people who sometimes speak in anger when our own needs are not being met? What if our value cannot be labeled a simple "good" or "bad" yet we're still deserving of self-care anyway?
Do you really believe you're not worthy of self-care? Not deserving of your own time and attention? Not deserving of your own love? That's the message you unconsciously send to yourself every time you skip a meal, skimp on sleep, automatically say "yes" to others without evaluating your own needs, time & energy, or settle for something less than what you want or need.
At what point can we stop trying to prove our own worth by being overly kind and accommodating to others? At what point can we take care of ourselves too? Who are we trying to prove our worth to anyway-others or ourselves?
The moment you begin to value yourself, life starts shifting in major ways. You begin to set boundaries around your time & energy. Your guard does down a little. Frustration, tension and resentment start to melt away. Your heart fills up with love, acceptance, maybe even joy. You feel healthy & energized. You even begin to love and appreciate others more. Taking care of YOU provides you all the energy and love you need to care for others freely, happily-and without resentment.
Valuing yourself isn't about being selfish or egotistical. It is about proper understanding of who you truly are.
Did you know that you are already perfect, whole and complete just as you are? You don't even have to DO anything to prove this. Just by existing, just by being your wonderful self, you are perfect, whole and complete! And if you're a Caring Warrior, even better. You already have an incredible amount of love in your heart. And you understand an incredibly important lesson...that by giving, we receive. For Caring Warriors, it's just a matter of balancing that giving with some self-care as well!
Did you know that you are a child of God/Universe/Spirit? (or however you refer to the energy that created you) You were created for a reason! And if your creator is perfect, and you are part of it, then you must be perfect too! Dr. Wayne Dyer reminds us of one of his favorite affirmations:
"I am a unique portion of the existence of God. I originated in Spirit. I am a Divine creation, a unique piece of the whole."
He further states, "You'll never find the light by analyzing the darkness. Nor my own magnificence in analyzing what's undistinguished about me."
Who are you? What are your strengths? What is distinguished or unique about you? What are you here on this earth to do? To be a loving, giving person? To touch lives? To make the world a better place? Well if this is the case, then you are certainly worthy and deserving of Self-Care! Do you know it? Do you feel it?
Affirmations: "I am worthy & deserving of Self-Care"
"I make this world a better place just by being my loving, caring self!"
"I am worthy & deserving of life, love and acceptance"
"I am perfect, whole & complete, just as I am"
"I am a divine being having a human experience and loving it!" (affirmation by Sohini Sinha, Divineexpression.com)
"I am worthy of God's loving and abundance." (affirmation by Sohini Sinha, Divinexpression.com)
"I love and approve of myself!" (affirmation by Louise L. Hay).
As a Self-Care Specialist, Courtney Long, MSW, LC, CHt inspires caring, giving adults to engage in tender loving self-care (TLsC) as they care for others. Courtney is a Transformational Life Coach, Certified Hypnotherapist, and Masters Level Social Worker. Her company, LGBT Caring Warriors--part of Caring for Your Spirit, LLC--is based in Phoenix, AZ. Courtney works with Caring Warriors worldwide, providing one-on-one care sessions and empowering workshops.
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