Self-Care is Not Selfish, It's Smart

Are you among the "Sandwich Generation"? By that, I mean individuals who are both rearing children and also taking care of an older relative.

If so, I'm sure that you're feeling a great deal of pressure from the multitude of competing demands placed upon you every day by your family - and that doesn't even include the ones coming from your occupation and your supervisor.

Do you ever consider you're always doing things for the rest of your family, leaving no time for yourself. You're constantly taking the kids to school and athletic activities, or driving your parents to doctors and other geriatric services, but you never seem to have any time to stop, breathe, put your feet up, and play tennis, watch tv, or simply do nothing.

In fact, even if you could find a few minutes in your day to do such things, chances are you would choose not to do them anyway, because to do so would make you feel guilty - as if you were ignoring your duty and your responsibility to your family.

I used to feel that way too - that I was always the one who needed to give up my time, energy and pleasures in order to take care of the family.

Then, one night I was watching the TV show, Baywatch - an episode where one of the lifeguards had swum out underneath a pier in very heavy seas, with the surf slapping forcefully against the posts of the jetty. The rookie lifeguard came to the point where he realized that the surf was so strong that they were forcing him and his rescued swimmer toward a certain collision with one of those pilings.

His first thought was that he should place his body between the injured swimmer and the pilings and let his body take the burden of whatever impact might occur. But, then he understood that if he were to do that, he might be knocked unconscious - or otherwise, seriously damaged. If that were to happen, it was very likely that they would both be lost.

So, he quickly determined that if either of them had to get slammed up against the piling, it would have to been the person he was rescuing. He needed to remain strong, and alert, in order to ensure that they both made it to shore, and to safety.

I took a lesson from that episode, and have since applied it to my life in both personal and business situations.

As strange as it may seem, when the care giving situation is so critical, it is vital that the caregiver remain healthy and strong. Not many of us are faced with the lifeguard's decision to allow someone else to be dragged into the pilings, but many of us are faced - on a daily basis - with decisions about doing things for ourselves to rest, recuperate. and in general, to calm down from the extreme pressures of the caregiver's existence.

I encourage you to take the time necessary for yourself to keep your immune system healthy, to keep your mind-set positive and your spirits carefree; otherwise, you will not be helping the people you care most about, but rather, you will begin to add to the problems that are already present.

The point of this story is that the caregiver must be a little bit selfish when it comes to ensuring his or her mental and physical health - and ongoing ability to continue to be the family caregiver.

So, be sure to take time for yourself - and don't feel apologetic about it when you do.

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Sue White is a Professional Project Manager (PMP) specializing in ERP/SAP consulting, an author, an internet marketer, and holds an MBA and an MA in Marriage and Family Counseling.

Copyright 2009 Sue White