The Key to Helping Others is Taking Care of Yourself First

Years ago, I thought the way to be successful was to have a lot of drive and be willing to put in as many hours as necessary to accomplish a task. Trouble was, the tasks always kept growing and I never got any closer to being "done." When I finished one task, it was usually replaced by several others. Although I was successful by outward standards, I was significantly "out of balance" in my life. I was often worn-out and prone to getting whatever virus came along.

Luckily, as is often the case, I found myself teaching the things I needed to learn myself. I worked with clients who were so busy taking care of others that they found themselves depleted, angry, or depressed. It was from this work that I discovered the importance of SELF-CARE.

Taking good care of yourself provides the foundation upon which everything else builds. You wouldn't be surprised if your car stopped running if you didn't take time to fuel it or do the basic maintenance on it. Yet we somehow expect ourselves to run efficiently and effectively without doing our own basic maintenance. Excuses about not having the time to do it are just that--excuses.

What I learned (the hard way, of course) was that if you don't take care of yourself, you are not going to be able to take care of others. You won't be able to excel at your career consistently, and you won't have any creativity to spare.

To illustrate this, I always think about the safety talk that flight attendants give at the beginning of each flight. They carefully tell us that if there is a loss of cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will fall from a compartment to help you breathe. They always tell us to put on our own mask before assisting others.

I've met a lot of people I thought would help everyone else before they take care of themselves. I imagine them crawling through the plane asphyxiating as they help everyone else put on the oxygen mask. Of course, they wouldn't be able to get everyone's mask on before they passed out. So they wouldn't be nearly as helpful as they would if they took care of themselves first.

When you want to help others, you need to first take care of yourself. Self-care is about replenishing ourselves so that we can have enough energy, creativity, love, and joy to spread to others. It is only when we do that that we can really be helpful to others who need us.

---

(c) 2008 Linda Pucci, Ph.D.

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach, trainer and owner of Inner Resource Center, LLC. She has 30 years of experience helping people overcome obstacles, change their lives, and reach goals they had not thought possible using her solution focused approach. She specializes in helping people get unstuck from negative emotions, limiting beliefs and behaviors that sabotage their success. Get additional free tips and challenges for getting unstuck from her Inner Resources report. Or contact her at http://www.InnerResourceCenter.com for a free 20 minute consultation.